Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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