Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
