never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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