At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
