He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize