You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
