I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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