i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you had me at cake vodka
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
