The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
