Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
