No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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