What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
