Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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