so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Let the clothes fall where they may.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
