This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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