he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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