I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My bed smells like the plague
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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