a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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