She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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