so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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