come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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