Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
