im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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