i was born a porn star she said
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Someone came in the potted fern
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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