I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
