Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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