pedialite and red bull = repair kit
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
