The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Your penis caused this!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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