Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
