Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
