Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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