We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I have post one night stand depression
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
