Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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