i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
