You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
