I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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