You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
