So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
