i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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