She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
