I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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