Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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