Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
