Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I have feelings that need drinking.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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