I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
