i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
