____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
