Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
