I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
