oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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