btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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