if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
