Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
