let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
