i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
