I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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