Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
