i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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