IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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