I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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