This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
